"Oh my god," Angela shrieked, batting away a flying sheet of paper. "It’s a digital plague!"
"No, no. The package . The digital package. The future of management." Michael turned to the documentary camera, a smug grin spreading across his face. "I found a website. Very exclusive. Very underground. It’s called 'The Regional Manager Free Download.' Apparently, it’s a software suite that automates all the boring parts of my job so I can focus on the 'people' stuff. The improv, the characters, the birthday planning. It’s like a second brain, but with my hair." The Regional Manager Free Download
Jim walked in, calmly reached behind the desk, and pulled the power cord from the wall. The office fell silent, save for the sound of Michael’s heavy breathing and the rustle of a hundred "Failure" flyers settling on the carpet. "Oh my god," Angela shrieked, batting away a
Michael stared at his screen as a countdown timer appeared. 'System Wipe in 10... 9...' "Jim! Do something!" Michael wailed. The digital package
In the kitchen, Jim leaned against the counter, holding a mug. "He’s been trying to download it since 8:00 AM. I told him it sounded like a Trojan horse, but then he told me he had 'top-tier firewalls' because he uses a password with a capital letter."
Back in Michael’s office, the computer speakers emitted a high-pitched screech, followed by a robotic voice: "Welcome, Regional Manager. Please input Social Security Number to unlock Leadership Mode."
"Pam, did it arrive?" Michael whispered, far louder than a whisper should be.