Large Birds, Spiders And: Momtwo And A Half Men ...

The condor immediately took flight in terror. The spider curled into a ball and rolled off the deck into the sand.

She swept into the living room, smelling of Chanel No. 5 and cold ambition. She didn't even look at her sons. She walked straight to the glass door, locked eyes with the giant bird, and tapped on the pane with a manicured nail. Large Birds, Spiders and MomTwo and a Half Men ...

Perched on the railing was a the size of a small aircraft. Next to it, a massive Tarantula —likely a runaway from a neighbor’s exotic collection—was casually making its way toward Charlie’s discarded sandwich. The condor immediately took flight in terror

“Alan, I’m telling you, it’s staring at me,” Charlie hissed, peering through the glass sliding door. 5 and cold ambition

The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the date. It was .

“Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double. “I guess there’s always a bigger predator in the room.”

“There,” Evelyn said, turning around with a sharp smile. “Even Mother Nature knows better than to overstay her welcome in my presence.”