An Anal Probe: Cartman Gets

The boys realized they had to act. They dragged Cartman to the top of Stark’s Pond, where the signal was strongest. "We have to get them to leave!" Stan shouted over the wind. "Give them the signal!" Kyle yelled.

Write a scene where tries to exploit the alien tech Summarize the original pilot episode vs. this version Create a "What If" story where Kenny is the one probed

Suddenly, a beam of blinding, neon-blue light tore through the clouds. It struck Cartman dead center. He was hoisted three feet off the ground, his small limbs flailing like an overturned beetle. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

"No I don't, Kyle! You're just being a dildo!" Cartman barked, oblivious to the massive piece of hardware broadcasting deep-space signals from his trousers.

The ships shuddered. The aliens, apparently offended by the primitive and gaseous nature of the broadcast, turned their fleet around and vanished into the stratosphere. The boys realized they had to act

The sky over South Park was a bruised purple as the four boys stood at the bus stop, their breath hitching in the frigid Colorado air. Eric Cartman was mid-rant, his voice a shrill grating whistle, when the atmosphere shifted. A hum, low and vibrating in their teeth, rattled the nearby pine trees.

With a wet, mechanical thud, the device made contact. Cartman’s eyes bulged. He let out a sound that wasn't quite a scream and wasn't quite a sneeze. Then, as quickly as it began, the light vanished, the ship vanished into a warp-drive blur, and Cartman plummeted into the snowbank with a heavy, muffled "oof." "Give them the signal

The next morning at the bus stop, Cartman was different. Every time he opened his mouth to insult Kyle, his voice came out as a series of rhythmic, electronic chirps. "Hey, fatass," Stan said tentatively. "You okay?"